Your Daily Sensations: Hipster-Mania

So a little back story on me in case some of you don't know me very well. I moved here from Chicago. Aside from New York City, Chicago is Hipster Mecca. Hipsters from other, lesser cities, make yearly pilgrimages to Chicago to revel in their collective poverty, cutting edge taste as well as their disdain for anything that more than 4 other people like. I have to say when I lived in Chicago I hated them, they smelled, they rode their bikes like assholes ( I frequently dreamed of playing Anti-Frogger, with the hipster bikers, where the goal was to hit as many hipsters as possible with my car) and pretty much just dominated the area in which I lived. I never would have thought in a million years that I would miss those same people that I once tried to hit with my vehicle. But now that I am faced with calling these bike riding wannabes in Columbus, Hipsters, I have decided I miss my old arch enemies and I realized I didn't know how good i had it. A Columbus Hipster is the equivalent of a skier from Mexico, it doesn't mean they aren't a skier, it just means they probably suck. Hipsters in Columbus are about as awesome as Micky Rourke's plastic surgeon, even in the sense that like Mickey Rourke's face the more you examine it the more fucked up you realize it is. Chicago hipsters are depressing in that they breed like rabbits, and think that finding that half eaten sandwich at the train stop is a sign from hipster god that they are loved. Columbus hipsters are depressing because they exist in dozens and think that paying 17 dollars for a deli sandwich with "sprouts" is so totally anti-establishment. Chicago hipsters hate the establishment, the man, and anything corporate. Columbus hipsters hate when Urban Outfitters is out of that new super cool/indie t shirt they saw in the window, "guess I will have to go online." The distinction here is one of sincerity and dedication. If the two hipster groups were boy bands, Chicago hipsters would be the Backstreet Boys of hipsterdom, a truly epic group that garners attention worldwide (I fucking love Brian, threw my panties at him on stage in 1997!!!). Where as Columbus hipsters are the 98 Degrees of hipsterdom, a truly pathetic group that most people forgot even existed (the Lachey brothers were ok, but those other two guys.... fuck them). My point is that if your going to do something, you need to commit. Not just ride your bike to the art exhibit, put gel in your hair before you go to sleep or wear jean shorts in the summer. It's about being universally hated, smelling like your own urine, and having at least one curable disease (anything from rabies to gonorrhea) that is what being a hipster is all about. And now I will leave you with some of my fave Hipster pics:

"I think it would sound better if we filled the tub? Is a laptop enough to electrocute someone? "