Bonus user post

“”Slow Fat Ladies – You think I got this iPod, these Beats by Dre headphones, and these full pockets because I’m slow? Think again. I got this because I’m faaaasssttt!! But now I will be unable to add to my awesomeness because I am stuck behind some fucking fat bitch. It happens everywhere: the airport, the street, the cafeteria, you name it. These fat broads waddle around wherever they so please, mouth breathing/wheezing like a fucking asthmatic penguin and have no regard that the rest of the world does not move like they are stuck in a tub of molasses. I get so annoyed being stuck behind these people. The worst part is that they flock together like a herd of fucking landwhales and make it impossible to get around them. Therefore you have to squeeze through the middle of them to which they give you dirty looks and sarcastically comment “excuse you”. No bitch, excuse you. You are the reason my fucking health insurance costs so much money. You should be thanking me for the fact that it is my premiums that are going to bring in the winch to get your ass to the hospital when you drop to floor in cardiac arrest. I may not be the skinniest guy around but at least I work out and have a goddamn salad or a wrap in my hand at the checkout line instead of a cheeseburger, fries, large coke, and a slice of pie. Who eats pie at lunch time??? Either call Jenny Craig or get the fuck out of the way so other people who go through life with a sense of urgency can get where we need to go. I got shit to do.””
                         - courtesy of Sean Creamer